1. Home
  2. payment
  3. How Can I Apologize And Salvage This Friendship?

How Can I Apologize And Salvage This Friendship?

By pay online Posted in: payment

I stole money from my closest friend – how do I tell her?
We’ve been best friends for five years, lived together for two.
I do not know what came over me.
I was short for rent money, and I knew she had recently received a large loan for school.
I was scrambling to get rent to my landlord, and when I was $120 short I saw her bank card on the counter. I took it, went to the bank machine by our house, took the money and returned her card to the counter. She had given me her PIN number many times, for various things, over the years. It seemed so easy and brainless. I put it out of my mind and went about my business.
I am a student, my own loans are all spent, and I don’t have a job. I usually don’t know where I will get getting money from next.
I could have asked to borrow the cash, I could have asked family for cash, but either of those would mean I’d have to admit to being a screw-up who can’t make rent. Pathetic of me, both ways.
Here’s where I really went off the deep-end: I did it again yesterday. I was broke, credit card minimum payment and internet bill looming. I took her card, took out cash, returned and made us dinner. Again, out of mind.
Now, she’s noticed. She saw the amounts and immediately called the bank. They told her “Listen, this doesn’t look like fraud. You probably have been scammed by a friend or roommate. We’ll let you know in two weeks.” She didn’t buy it and believes she was defrauded. I was so scared I sat there and let her talk to the bank, reassuring her that it’s not the end of the world (feeling like I was going to puke.)
I’m sure they will tell her they can’t do anything about it, and I’m not concerned about getting caught. I know this bank well – she will be told it wasn’t fraud and she can go to the police if she wants to, and she won’t because she hates that kind of hassle.
I feel so goddamn sick about this, I’m shaking as I type. What I am really concerned about is losing my BEST friend, the BEST person I know.
She has said over the years “I hold grudges – if I lose trust, I don’t hesitate to drop people out of my life.” I am terrified to face her, as terrified as I am right now, facing the fact that I am an awful friend.
I can’t believe I may have just ruined all of my friendships for $220.
I have all the money to pay her back, in cash, in my wallet. I’m going to tell her, approach her with the cash in hand, explain that I needed rent and did the shadiest thing possible to get it. She’s going to have questions about the whole thing, and I have honest answers.
HOW DO I EVEN BEGIN TO DO THIS? We’ve been sitting around the house all day, I am just terrified that as soon as I have this conversation, there’s a chance I’ll be saying goodbye to not only her friendship, but probably other friendships as well.
I need to try my best to salvage this. Really, my life will be in shambles if she can’t forgive me.
What would you NOT want to hear?
“I need to clear something up, I have done the stupidest, lowest thing. -Explain- I don’t expect you to be okay with this, I don’t know if there is anything I can do to make this okay. I just know that I am sick that I did this to YOU of all people, and realize it might be something I’m regretting for a long time.”

«
»
Sign up for PayPal and start accepting credit card payments instantly.
  1. Tiffany Says

    really, i would want to hear everything you wrote in your post, and i would forget about it, and it probably wouldnt bother me after that if you were to come to me with all that you said there. i would forgive it one time, anyway, and if my friend didnt come to me and tell me before i found out another way, i would say goodbye
    goodluck

  2. Curiosa Says

    You should have been honest from the beginning. I feel sorry that your best friend has a friend like you. Stop lying and be honest. You did this to yourself, now deal with the consequences.

  3. ct Says

    i say u approach her and say u have something to tell her bt u have to put in your mind that it gonna be tough telling her bt thats just how life is you know? theres gonba be some tough times and these ate one of them …explain to her what you did why you did it (that way bt nt asking her)and that u have the money to repay her nd of course apologize…if she accepts your apology bt doesnt want to be you friend if u have to be tough nd know! know! that u did the right thing: telling the truth…bt to tell you the truth ? if i had a friend for that long nd told me the real reasons of why she stoled money ill accept her apology, understand why she did it…nd still be friends…
    you can do it remember be strong!!:)

  4. Horsense Says

    Should anyone in the future offer you their PIN #, tell them NO!
    Encourage them to tell it to NO ONE, under ANY circumstances.
    You now know just how important the warning not to give it out to anyone is,
    and you should tell her to changer her PIN # (if she hasn’t already done so).
    Also, to NEVER, EVER, give it out to ANYONE . . . EVER again!
    (All banks warn each card holder to NEVER divulge it to ANYONE,
    not even the account number itself!)
    Pack your bags & make arrangements to stay with relatives.
    Admit the huge mistake you made to yourself, & accept that you ruined this relationship.
    Don’t hold out hope of her letting you stay. Take the pressure off of her, & bear it on your own shoulders . . . Explain what you did after handing her money+ back to her. Tell her she’s better off without you, & move on to make a more honest future for yourself. . . . Then leave, taking all your belongings with you. IF she wants to be friends with you, she can voluntarily approach you, after seeing evidence that you are truly sorry & trying not to repeat the mistake. Perhaps it will be enough that you seem to have already taken what you did seriously . . . perhaps not . . . but, *you need to allow her to make her own decisions, AND, accept the consequences of your actions with grace. . . .
    These articles can help you out :
    “Should I Apologize?” :
    – Why Is It So Hard to Apologize?
    – Apologizing–A Key to Making Peace http://watchtower.org/e/20021101/article…
    “It Pays to Be Honest”
    – Do Not Hide Who You Are
    – Honesty Brings Blessings http://watchtower.org/e/20061201a/articl…
    “Right and Wrong—How Should You Decide?”
    – Differing Opinions
    – Is Popular Opinion a Trustworthy Guide?
    – Can You Trust Your Own Judgment?
    – Finding the Strength to Do Goodhttp://watchtower.org/e/20041201/article…
    “EMPATHY—Key to Kindness and Compassion”
    – What IS Empathy
    – Scriptural Examples of Empathy
    – How to Cultivate Empathy
    – Cultivate Fellow Feeling http://watchtower.org/e/20020415/article…
    “How Can I Help Those in Need?”
    – You Can Help
    – Why Learn to Give?
    – Who Can I Help, & How? http://watchtower.org/e/200608a/article_…

  5. gamerhel Says

    hmmm… It was wrong on your part to have stolen your best friend’s money. I guess you have done a grave mistake. Yes, of course, you must go and apologize to her, even if she doesn’t forgive you, you should do so. Else, the rest of your life you would be sad thinking about this incident. She will of course, be angry at you, even hit you with something, or even say some harsh words, but if she is really your best friend, she might forgive you if you promise not to do such an act ever again. Anyways, apologize to her as fast as you can.

  6. emo scratches Says

    You already know what you did was wrong, but that doesn’t excuse it. If you had borrowed for one payment, that would be different, but you stole twice. Don’t you think it’s unfair for her to forgive you when you proved that it will happen again the next time you get in a jam? She can’t trust you anymore, and you need to face that.
    Since you don’t want to lose your friend, the most you can do is confront her about it and tell her that you don’t expect her to ever trust you again, but don’t want to lose her. Tell her how much you need her support (as a friend, not for money) and explain that you will never touch her card or any of her money again. She won’t believe you and will hide her card from now on, but that’s fair if she will just stay.
    Next time, just suffer the late fees. In hind-sight, wouldn’t you have rather been late on your payments instead? Your landlord probably would have understood if you’d give him/her the rest of the money, and the other bills won’t turn you into collectors until it’s been several months of no payments. You could have always asked her to borrow the money in the first place. I bet she would have loaned it to you.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

More Interesting Things

payment

©2011 Fave Payment Online, All rights reserved.