I Don’t Think I’m Schizophrenic. Misdiagnoses?

So I was diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic about 3-4 years ago. Started taking meds for a couple weeks and refused during that time. I’ve lived so far without meds, but I’ve been trying to get SSI because I want the money, because I get paranoid about working or whatever, people around me just call me lazy… To help out my case I’ve been reading more about “Schizophrenia” and apparently every thing I did some years ago is about everything a paranoid schizophrenic would do. I mean like part of me wants to believe it, but the other part of me is just like nope, those doctors don’t know what they’re talking about. I mean most of what I read about Schizophrenia is people who are just insane, like I originally thought it was when first being diagnosed. Trying to call me crazy or whatever, because I was suicidal, believing in aliens, and whatever. Anyway I was recently rejected by the SSA saying my disability claims weren’t severe enough to receive SSI payment, so I freaked out going off on my mom, having suicidal thoughts and whatnot. I started to think doctors are just out to get me or are just stupid, I really hate doctors actually. They’re so annoying. Think they know everything that’s best for people labeling them with crazy disorders. Maybe I am a little psycho and weird, and just a panzy cuz I can’t sleep in the dark, or get scared of people. But I’ve been living without meds for years now but I’m not just totally stupid or non-functional, you know. So how am I schizophrenic? How am I crazy? You know its all funny to me but it pisses me off. Actually when I talked to the appointment doctor for SSI, I didn’t know what to say, because at that time I was still learning about “Schizophrenia” and he even asked me how am I schizophrenic? I didn’t even know what to say to the dude. I told him things like I didn’t hear voices, but now that I actually pay attention to it, occasionally I do hear stuff. They sound distorted for the most part and hard to make out. Maybe I never noticed it in the first place because I have an obsession with sound, and I’m always listening to things… I commonly see images or after images of things, nothing really extreme for the most part. But so what man, who doesn’t see or hear things time to time, it’s not like I got imaginary friends and crap.
I know this person online whos in college, practicing medicine, we became friends, and then I kind of pushed him away cuz he became annoying to me, and recently I told him I was “schizophrenic” and he’s like, “I just KNEW you were schizophrenic. all the convos we’ve had…” and says nothing else afterwards. Maybe I should ask him why he “KNEW” that, but hes just an asshole, what does he know, hes not a doctor, even if he was, he’d be an asshole. I sit here right now drinkin, I don’t think I am. I don’t think I’m crazy. I just think I’m a weirdo with adhd. I did socially isolate myself for about 3-4 years when I first diagnosed because times were hard for me… But right now I wanna do stuff with my life, I want to own business and be a billionaire. How am I schizophrenic? I can still think and function, im not crazy, maybe I can’t trust my thoughts sometimes, i know whats real and what isnt, i don’t take meds… I get paranoid thats why im drinkin, I’m just a panzy not schizo. Come on now. I could see things that makes me remember things when i was younger that made me angry or sad, and may get suicidal thoughts sometimes, but I don’t do it, because I know its wrong. I mean I can function, but life is hard sometimes, just fightin myself and my life… im not crazy im not schizo. I’m just a loser who wants to make a life but too scared to cuz i got social problems. Not schizophrenic. No way.
I even googled schizophrenics who drink to relieve paranoia and found nothing really. When I drink I don’t care about anything anymore, poeple dont scare me. See I’m not shizophrenic. Doctors are just stupid sometimes, maybe I’m stupid too. But this is funny don’t you think? Anyone else laughing? Cuz I am.